Last Wednesday night, the immortal words of Grandpa Simpson kept ringing through my head..."I can finally get me a crazy stripper wife!" This while watching women undressing in a bar in Osbourne Village.

It was The R-Unit's 30th birthday, an evening he had variously been referring to as "the night of ridiculous drinking" and "alochol poisoning evening." His mighty plan was to go drinking at every bar in Osbourne Village in the same evening. Well, we made it through 4 of them anyway. It's not like we'd leave the fourth one, knowing we'd be missing strippers if we did.

Despite being no less of a pervert than any other guy my age, my life had been remarkably stripper-free up to this point. Sure, there's always cable TV and the internet. Both had taken the novelty and mystery out of the female form years ago. But live naked women were still a rarity. It's a little harder to watch something so intimate and sexual when the viewing is no longer a one-way street. While you watch strippers, they can watch back. Or do they? I was curious if I could get any of them to make eye contact, and they never seemed to. Not that they were oblivious of the audience; one of them even made a smart remark as me and my group switched chairs several times, moving ever closer to the stage. Not that there even was much of an audience. 10, maybe 12 people...is it even worth taking it all off for just them?

Apparently it is. A documentary I had seen on the W Network years ago (which curiously seemed to often feature content more appealing to men than women, in my opinion) revealed that many women who do strip are actually in it for more than the money (one woman mentioned she realized she'd liked it a lot more than any other of numerous jobs she'd had over the years).

And while it was hard to watch at first, eventually it was hard not to. When the R-Unit got up to use the washroom in the middle of the show, I couldn't help but scold him. Perhaps the copy of The Alphabet of Manliness which I gave him as a birthday gift will help him better re-evaluate his priorities.

The thing I find ironic about the whole experience is...the natural state of any person is naked. I mean, it's not like people are born wearing clothes. So why is the act of undressing so compelling to watch?

Nevertheless...it's still fascinating, in any case... And addictive; I may have to cancel my plans for next Wednesday night. Or would have to, if I had made any.